Friday, August 20, 2010

Day 5: Bumps in the Road

One might think by looking at our blog that it is all smiles and hugs at our house. That is, of course, because we are generally positive people and try to focus on the good things. We have had our share of bumps in the road, though, as all families do, especially in this kind of transition. We don't want to dwell on those things, but we would like to share them with you so you will know how to pray with us.

The boys are bored. And that drags their attitude down. They don't really know yet how to play with toys, and they are used to having over 100 boys their age around them. Matt has been battling head cold, stomach bug, and jetlag issues, which hasn't helped as he just hasn't had the energy to entertain the boys. We are thinking of putting the boys in school on Monday, hoping that the interaction with other kids their age will be good (especially for Michael) and help their English progression (especially Amsalu's).

While Amsalu is a pretty good eater, Michael is extremely picky. He is very reluctant to try new things, and usually makes up his mind before he tries it that he won't like it. One night this week he turned up his nose at a meal Amy had cooked, and when we tried to make him eat at least a little of it, he sat there for over an hour before dissolving into sobbing. It may have been a battle line drawn too soon, and we are still paying for it.

Last night we had Michael talk via Skype to another adopted boy that he had known in Ethiopia. While he brightened up a bit during the conversation, he did tell his friend that he didn't like it here. This is a very natural thing for him to feel at this point, but it still makes our hearts hurt a bit.

Although Amsalu seems to be a bit more resilient, he also gets frightened more easily. He burst into tears when he met his teacher on Wednesday. He is very shy around new people.

All that fun ended at 9:30 last night with our injector pump going bad. (That's the pump that grinds up the raw sewage from our downstairs bathroom and pumps it outside.) Filthy water all over the basement. We were literally up a certain creek that shall remain nameless. Not what we needed on this night.

A wonderful thing about our faith is that we believe that God can redeem any situation. That is really what adoption is - a redemption. All adoptions begin with some kind of tragedy, whether it is death or abandonment or poverty. And through adoption God is able to redeem those tragedies - both those of the adopted and the adopter - and bring healing. And redemption is never easy. Our spiritual redemption cost our Lord His life.

Like marriage, adoption is more than just the meeting of a human need. It is a spiritual discipline whereby we can know God more. Our spiritual adoption teaches us that we are loved and we are wanted - nobody forced us upon God, and he wasn't forced to take us. Ephesians 1:4-5 says we were chosen before the world began, and it was God's pleasure and will that we would be adopted as His children. We are loved. We are wanted. We are children of the King - even if sometimes we think we don't want the good things that He has for us.


Jamie said...

praying for you!

Peter and Nancy said...

Thanks for being honest -- I know that it helps the rest of us adoptive parents to read that others have a few bumps along the way too. I've been reading your blog for two years, but don't always comment.

You're being very creative with the pizza bonding! Nice work. :o)

It must be disorienting for your sons to have quieter surroundings after being in such a noise- and activity-filled environment. Our daughter had trouble sleeping at first, partly because our house was too quiet.

Hang in there with the bumps! You're doing exactly the right thing just by being lovingly present for them -- I think it's similar to when a newborn cries. The parent can't always get them to stop crying -- but the main goal isn't necessarily to get them to stop, it's just to be a comfort to them while they're crying.

MK said...

Food and Michael is exactly like Tamirat...picky. Tamirat decides he doesn't like things before he tastes it.

We had gotten T involved in soccer his first week home so that helped. Obsi was never bored. Please add us to your skype....marykay.niedermeyer (I think???)