I spend lots of money on dog food, and that is so absurd,
Because that ungrateful dadgum dog likes eating sticks and horse turds.
My dog has fat-free dog food; it also helps his breath, I’ve heard.
But my dog couldn’t give a darn. He likes sticks and horse turds.
Animal righters say dogs are just like humans, but I think their vision’s blurred.
Because I like burgers and fries; my dog likes sticks and horse turds.
Note to Caesar: peanut butter good for dogs; hot beans NOT good for dogs